It's time one again for that time of the month where I bust out my old dusty VCR and record me some wrasslin' that I've spent some money on so I can review the heck out of it to make it seem that I got more bang for my buck. Unfortunately my VCR bit the dust ten minutes before I was set to record the event so I'm going to have to do this whole damn review going off of memory alone...crap! Anyway the pay per view that's up for review today is TNA Hardcore Justice 2. If you aren't familiar with my pay per view reviews then let me give you the general idea of how I do them because they are not like any of my other reviews I do (click "Read More" right now if you wish to skip this mumbling and get straight to the review).
The way I do these pay per view reviews is that I just simply talk about each match separately and say what I liked and disliked about the match. I also want to clear up a mistake I made back in the Payback review ( review can be found here) where I said that TNA only does a pay per view every three months. Turns out that TNA does indeed have monthly pay per views with a live one happening every three months. The months in-between they have shows called "One Night Only" that are pre-taped and are half the price of the live pay per views. The idea of having pre-taped shows as pay per view is a little daunting but you are not simply paying for an episode of "Impact" as they do make these shows very special and really interesting. Another way I can describe it is that they are like the old "WWF In Your House" shows but pre-taped. If you still think that paying for pre-taped pay per views is a waste of money then I don't really blame you at all as it does sound like a very steep thing to buy. Anyway that concludes the rambling part that's starting to become a regular segment of this review and onto my thoughts, opinions, impressions, or whatever you like to call them but in the end it's going to end up being an review of "Hardcore Justice 2". (Click "Read More" for the full review).
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| Nice pants. |
Stipulation: Tag-Team Street Fight
Title Defense: N/A
Predicted Winners: LAX
The opening bout has not one, but TWO tag-teams reuniting to please the fans. First we have the team of New Church in which we haven't seen in ten years. The other team called The Latin American Xchange (LAX for short) hasn't been disbanded for as long as New Church but damn was it good to see them again. While it was nice to see both teams the match itself was a very slow one with nothing to say about what went on as it was mainly brawling and I can easily see people getting bored from watching this match. I actually liked this match as it had a sense of roughness to it that made it feel like a wrestling match instead of a circus performance (even though they do look a little bit like clowns and strongmen). Decent opener.
Winners: LAX
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| Choke on my broomstick! |
Stipulation: No Disqualification
Title Defense: N/A
Predicted Winner: ODB
This is one of those times when that promise so much that you can't help but to have high expiations for. You got two pretty tough ladies of wrestling that could take down bulls with ease but instead of getting an epic battle for female supremacy we get a match where they beat each other up with beauty products for ten minutes. The way the match ended was that ODB spat alcohol in Jackie Moores eyes and then pinned her for a cheap victory. This match was a huge disappointment and cringe-worthy but it wasn't all bad as there was some decent wrestling but the bad did indeed trump the good in this one. Toilet break match.
Winner: ODB
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| Up, up, and AWAY! |
Stipulation: Tag-Team Ladder Match
Title Defense: N/A
Predicted Winners: Bad Influence
In this match we see yet another team make a special guest appearance and that team is Generation Me. The match started off with both teams shaking each-others hands? I don't know about you but when you see good guys shake hands with the bad guys it normally means you have made a big mistake (as Arnie would say). I ended up being right as during the handshake we see Bad Influence get the first attack on Generation Me. We do see some very exciting stuff in this match with some great uses of the ladder and also some real painful moments like when Daniels striking Generation Me right in the Nasty Boys (AKA the groin) and Kazarian going through a ladder. There was also some really great double-team moves that were very exciting to witness and gave a very refreshing feeling from seeing new stuff. Double-team moves I really enjoyed was when one of the members of Generation Me caught Daniels in a headlock that used his legs that followed with a superkick to the face from the other member of Generation Me while Daniels was stuck in the headlock.
There were also some really unique stuff in this match to the likes that I haven't been seen done before (but are bound to get overused) like when we saw Jeremy Buck (from Generation Me) get pushed from atop the ladder but instead of falling to his doom he lands on the top rope (not the turnbuckle but the top rope itself) and then bounces off hitting Kazarian with a front-flip landing in a bronco buster like maneuver (minus the humping). This lit something up inside me only to be disappointed from what would shortly follow. My complaint about this match was that the ending was the same as the one in the Knockouts match where they threw something into the other wrestlers eyes to score a cheap win. This match was defiantly the match of the night but loses points for the lack of originality in the ending.
Winners: Bad Influence
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| Funaki or not, here I come! |
Stipulation: Hardcore Gauntlet Match
Title Defense: N/A
Predicted Winner: Crimson
The next match we have is an "Hardcore Gauntlet Match" featuring wrestlers that are bound to get your nostalgic senses tingling. Now I know what you're all thinking, "How on Earth does a Hardcore Gauntlet Match work?". Well the way it works is that two people start off in the ring and a new opponent enters every two minutes and the winner is decided when all the other opponents are thrown out of the ring. Now the "hardcore" element of this match comes from a little added bonus stipulation where they can bring in one weapon of their choice into the ring.
The first two wrestlers we see enter are Devon Storm with a golf club and then we have Little Guido with a dustpan. We see some good old fashion bashing and grappling with Little Guido choking Devon Storm with the golf club. Entrant number two arrives and it's Crimson and he is supporting an umbrella for a heavy downpour of hardcore (that sounded way too cheesy). Nothing much happens here as all you see is brawling and out comes man number four, Sam Shaw with a walking cane. Guido beats up everybody with the weapons and walks around the ring with the cane and umbrella like he's Mary Poppins until it's time for the fifth guy to come in. It's Johnny Swinger with a cane and he is kicking everyone's butt only to be thrown out by Little Guido shortly after making him the first to be eliminated.
Out comes the biggest surprise of the match with Funaki coming out at number six and he has a huge plastic guardrail. Funaki starts doing the helicopter with the guardrail smacking everybody in his path. During all this commotion we see Funaki eliminate Little Guido by throwing him onto the apron and then superkick him. Gunner is lucky number seven and he is armed with a police batten and Iron Maiden trunks and is ready to whip some ass. Gunner eliminates Devon Storm with an Irish-whip so forceful that he flies over the turnbuckles upon impact. Gunner continues to dominate and then out comes Too Cold Scorpio who is ready the clean up the ring with his skills and the broom he brought to the ring. Sam Shaw is the next to go after Too Cold Scorpio eliminates him by sitting on the ropes to do a hurricanrana. Too Cold Scorpio uses his skills to stay in the ring and out comes the final man.
Shark Boy is the last to come in and he brings a bag that has only he knows what's inside.
Shark Boy, Too Cold Scorpio, and Funaki gang up on Crimson and Gunner. Too Cold Scorpio does some front-flip leg-drops on Crimson with Funaki wanting to join in but gets pushed off the top turnbuckle while he was climbing up leaving four people left in the ring. Gunner and Crimson recover and gang up on Too Cold Scorpio to eliminate him. While Shark Boy is down we see Gunner going to take a peek at what's inside Shark Boy's sack. Gunner opens the bag and immediately runs to the other side of the ring in shock and tells Crimson to take a look. Crimson looks in the bag and is also shocked at what's inside. Shark Boy recovers and attacks the other two wrestlers and goes to his bag to pull out its contents. Shark Boy pulls out... a fish? This is truly a bizarre thing to see in an wrestling match. What's more insane is that Shark Boy tries to shove the fish up Gunner's butt like some weird sushi sodomy. Not long after that we see the match end by Shark Boy slapping everybody with the fish making Shark Boy the winner of the match.
Overall I enjoyed this match as it was pretty fun and defiantly got my nostalgia going crazy. The whole mystery element (that I spoiled in this review) added some nice suspense and it paid off in some aspects of the match. Yes the ending was silly although I did enjoy it as it was also a very fun thing to see.
Winner: Shark Boy
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| We've got three words for ya: It's Been Done! |
Stipulation: N/A
Title Defense: N/A
Predicted Winner: James Storm, Magnus & Bob Holly
Oh great! Now onto the matches with the overdone storylines kicking in to ruin my night. As you can tell I'm not a fan of this storyline as it has been done before and it's been much better than this one. This storyline has been dragging on for far too long with little to no improvements with very dull plot twists like "I was a part of them the whole time" in which nearly everyone in TNA seems to be a part of the Aces and Eights. This feels like the time where NWO jumped the shark in WCW back in 1999. Enough about my bitching as this is about the match and not the storyline itself.
This match was actually pretty cool and saying that surprised the hell out of me. You saw some really cool moves and some very entertaining spots. Around five to seven minutes into the match we see Bob Holly hit Knux with the Alabama Slam and gets the pinfall to score the first elimination of the night. Right after the pin Wes Briscoe gets Bob Holly with a School Boy and scores the pin on him and then Magnus eliminates Wes Briscoe right after that all within twenty-seconds of Bob Holly eliminating Knux. That's not all as Doc scores a pinfall on Magnus making four people eliminated within thirty-seconds (damn). This did feel like a cheap way to have Doc and James Storm go at it for ten minutes but it was still pretty entertaining. In the end it would be James Storm pinning Doc to obtain victory for his team. It was also very nice seeing Bob Holly return for a match.
Winners: James Storm, Magnus & Bob Holly
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| Be gentle, it's my first time. |
Stipulation: Monsters Ball Match
Title Defense: N/A
Predicted Winner: Joseph Park
Ahh the monsters ball, a no holds barred, anything goes, brutality filled masterpiece that is indeed one of TNA's greatest creations (next to the Clockwork Orange House of Fun matches). Instead of getting something great we get this stinker instead. Don't get me wrong as both wrestlers in this match are incredible talents but what made this match go sour was their characters or in this case I'm just talking about Joseph Park. The character of Joseph Park is suppose to be a gentle giant that doesn't want to be in violent situations but turns into The Incredible Hulk when ticked off. What this translates too is that you are going to get barely anything until the last two minutes of the match and that's exactly what happened here. It wasn't all bad in the first part though as we did see some fun stuff from both wrestlers like when Joseph Park did a low blow with a cheese grater. This match also felt like they just slapped on the monsters ball part onto this match as it doesn't feel anything like one. This match was more of just a simple street fight like the one we saw earlier in the show. The last two minutes were a lot better with some exciting moves and it really should've been like that for the whole match. This match ended with Joseph Park hitting an impactful Black Hole Slam and got the cover to win the match. Not a very good match but I've seen way worse...
Winner: Joseph Park
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| FLOP! |
Stipulation: Tables Match
Title Defense: N/A
Predicted Winner: Bully Ray & Devon
...Just like this match we have to close off the show. The final match of the night and boy oh boy oh boy oh boy it was flat. The match started off with Bully Ray and Devon having microphone time and bashing the crowd. This was their way of trying to re-live the good old days of ECW but it didn't have any of the old ECW charm but it was fun for what it was. Brother Runt comes in and rambles on the microphone and I could barely understand anything he said. Brother Runt then goes on and announces his mystery partner who ends up being the living Picaso painting himself, Jeff Hardy. The match starts and all you get is brawling for ten to fifteen minutes with some very predictable stuff happening and it was very boring to watch.
The ending of this match was very dumb and anti-climatic with Runt and Jeff Hardy placing Bully Ray on the table and then Jeff Hardy climbing the turnbuckle and jumping off to score the win. I bet you're thinking to yourself "That doesn't sound that dumb to me". Well you're right to think that as that doesn't sound that bad as that is a very standard by the book way of finishing a match like this. However what does make this ending dumb is the way this match ending was executed as when Jeff Hardy landed a splash on Bully Ray he went SPLAT instead of CRASH making the table just stand there unharmed. They tried to make up for it by wriggling the table until it fell over awarding Runt and Jeff Hardy the victory.
Winner: Jeff Hardy & Brother Runt
Overall this pay per view was pretty decent but the last half of the show certainly wasn't as good as the fist half. With that aside I do quite like this format of having lower priced special shows during the months where they don't have any live pay per view. I do recommend (hard to believe I know) giving this one a watch for the nostalgia factor alone and plus the insanity (both good and bad) the matches had. One for a beer and pizza night. Next time on the pay per view reviews we will be taking a look at WWE Money In The Bank 2013.
Title: TNA Hardcore Justice 2
Studio: Total Non-stop Action
Genre: Sports Entertainment, Action
Running Time: 180 Minutes
PPV Provider: Main Event (http://www.mainevent.com.au/)
Rating: M15+ (Sporting violence, Coarse language, Mature themes)
PPV Price: $14.95
Recommended: Yes (Shocking right?)
2 comments:
I'm not all that up to speed on TNA PPVs, what's up with all of the old talent like the Young Bucks, Jackie, and FUNAKI being involved?
Special one night appearance.
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