The Centerfold Girls is an anthology thriller movie containing three tales about the lives of nude female models that have all appeared in the centerfold of a famous men's magazine. All stories are linked in two ways: 1. They are all centerfold girls have all had a part in the same magazine. 2. There is a crazed killer that's after them and he won't stop unless he has murdered them all. The reason why this killer wants them dead is because he is an anti-sex guy and finds that stuff disgusting and degrading and so he wants them dead to help make the world pure (just think of the late Margret Thatcher but as a killer). The killer is only one part of the tale(s) as there is more to this story than just a crazed slasher. (Click on "Read More" to read the full review).

Magnetic by Nature, a platforming puzzle game that takes place in a cold and wet dystopian world full of ruins and rusted metal.  In this cruel world you play as a little robot that has just awoken from being shut down, this robot gets charged up by a very special energy source that charges up machinery.  The little robot starts to look around the place and finds a huge robot in need of repair, so the little robot tries to charge up the big robot with the special energy but is shocked (no pun intended) to see that he hasn't got enough of it in stock to bring the robot back to life (even though robots don't actually live anyway).  The little robot discovers that the land is full of this special energy but trying to get more is going to be very difficult as the robot will have to go through some very dangerous areas full of ghastly spikes and harmful rivers of liquid.  The little robot does discover something interesting and that's it has a special ability to create magnetic waves that can attach and detach to certain platforms.  Godspeed, little robot dude.  (Click "Read More" to read the full review).

Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty is a touched up version of the 1997 game, Oddworld: Abe's Odyssey. This game has you playing as Abe, a simple everyday janitor/slave that works at a factory called Rupture Farms. This factory is a slaughterhouse that takes weird and exotic creatures (well, weird and exotic to us that is) and turns them into tasty treats. Abe is just doing his job at cleaning the halls as he typically does, however on this fine day he just happens to peek into a business meeting between all of the executives and overhears them talking about a new product. Abe is in shock as this new item on the menu is Abe's entire race, the Mudokon, on the menu to be slaughtered. Abe must now escape from Rupture Farms and help out his fellow Mudokon brethren and lead them to the promised land. Sadly the odds are against him as he must get past all of the security and even then the journey gets harder after that. It's nice to see that this game has an updated version after all these years but will it be tasty as it advertises itself to be? (Click "Read More" to read the full review).

Out of the Park Baseball 16 (16 as in 2016) is a sports simulator (a proper simulator, not a novelty game parading as one) that has you taking the role of a baseball coach in the MLB (Major League Baseball). This is a game where you're not just taking control of the current roster as you have a large roster of teams and leagues from across all eras of baseball history. If that's not enough, you can create your own teams and league and become the ultimate coach of your very own make believe league. Will this game make you get out of the park and run for home to get to your computer? Or will it be a strike out? (Sorry for the painful puns and the out of left field apology). Find out after the jump and you might be pleasantly surprised with what I have to say about this game. (Click on "Read More" to read the full review).

Sym is a puzzling platformer game where you play as a teenage boy named Josh that's suffering from social anxiety. Josh also has a split personality and this personality is his shadow self. In order to beat this game and get over your problems, you and your shadow self must work as a team and complete some interesting levels. You and your shadow self will also operate on different levels (literally) as your regular self can walk on top of platforms, while your shadow self can sink into the shadows and do the same but in an inverted world instead.  This game is just as SYMple as that (hurr hurr hurr). (Click on "Read More" to read the full review).

Kill la Kill Volume Five is the final volume of this action packed, over-the-top, dramatic anime about the high school from hell, an alien invasion, and a spunky young woman named Ryuko. This volume opens up with Ryuko rejecting and leaving her Kamui, Senketsu, due to all of the crazy stuff that I dare not spoil as it is way too huge to spoil. The final battle is also at hand as Ragyo Kiryuin (Satsuki's mother) is getting close to fulfilling her evil plan for world domination.  Satsuki (Ryoko's dear rival) also happens to escape her imprisonment and is off to get her revenge on her dear old mother... Heck, The Elite Four, The Naked Nudist, and Ryuoko are all after Ragyo as well. Sadly, Ragyo has a lot of cards up her sleeve and one of them is to capture Ryoku and brainwash her into doing her bidding. How will our heroes and antiheroes put a stop to Ragyo and save the world from the evil aliens? (Click on "Read More" to read the full review).

Jump/Boxer is a retro styled 2D action platformer that has you playing Dag, a martial artist who is also a master at the urban martial-art of parkour.  The goal of the game is to get though the city but that's not going to be easy as there are dastardly traps and other martial art masters getting in your way.  You will also have to do a lot of climbing and getting past some tricky platforms, thank goodness that Dag is both a martial artist and a master at parkour, otherwise any other normal person would be doomed as they'd be beaten up and thrown off the buildings (ouch). But enough with the padding and onto the part where I tell you if the game is good or not.  (Click "Read More" to read the full review).

Kill la Kill Volume Four is the second last volume of the epic saga of Ryuko and her journey to avenge her father. In this volume we have our heroes, the ruthless Satsuki, and the Elite Four, still in a huge battle with the entire region of Osaka due to Satsuki declaring war on them.  Ryoko is still trying to find to all of the pieces to her loyal friend and battle suit, Senketsu the Kamui, but is having a hard time trying to do so.  Satsuki and the Elite Four are still dominating as they are more than a match for anyone in the Osaka region. It doesn't take long until we see the naked freedom fighters from a group called Nudist Beach come out to join the battle because the Elite Four are getting way to close to finding out where their secret base is hidden. That's not all that happens in this volume, there will be even more game changing deep secrets revealed in this volume and it will just blow your minds. (Click on "Read More" to read the full review).

Superbike TT is a motorbike racing game that has you living your dream of becoming a motorcycle racer via virtual reality with help from the Oculus Rift.  If you do not own an Oculus Rift (like me) then do not fear as this game can be played without one just fine.  In this game you will be racing all over the world in countries such as Canada, Australia, Italy, and the United Kingdom, just to name a few.  You'll also be racing in many different speed divisions and you'll be unlocking new bikes in the process.  That's it, there's really not much to explain about to what this game is about, it's just a straight up good old fashioned racing game where the focus is on the racing instead of having some complicated story.  Grab your helmets, rev intensely until you pre-maturely shoot out smoke from your exhaust pipe, it's time to race.  (Click on "Read More" to read the full review).

I talk about how shit the last Craptastic Four movie was and why this is a good thing for the MCU. Download after the bump.

Canabalt HD is the new PC re-release of the arcade-esk handheld game of the same name. This game has you playing as a business man who is on the run for his life as there is an alien invasion going on.  The goal of the game is to run as far as you can on levels that have no end and try your best to get a high score.  You are running on rooftops where there will be obstacles trying to put a stop to your life and these include: Pitfalls, missiles, giant machines, and even other buildings that will collapse once you have landed on them.  This version of the game also has some new modes thrown into the mix and also even has multiplayer added in.  This version is defiantly the most beefed up version of date, but will this end up also being the most definitive version of this game? (Click "Read More" to read the full review).

Goal of the Dead, a French comedy horror film about a soccer/football team going to the small town where they'll be playing a game against another team.  This game is especially big for a player named Sam (I like that name) as he'll be playing in his old hometown, so he is nervous, not because he is worried about impressing the locals, he is worried because that town hates him due to something that happened a long time ago.  There is one person who is especially hateful of Sam and  has held a grudge against him after what happened between Sam and his son.  This bitter old man wants revenge and so he gets an experimental steroid and makes his son use it to become ultra strong, so that he can wreck Sam a new one.  Sadly, this is the point where all hell starts to break loose as the steroid does something else instead.  What is this something else that I speak of?  This something else is that the steroid turns the bitter man's son into an ultra-violent zombie that is out to cause havoc to everything that crosses his path.  Looks like Sam is in for one hell of a town reunion...  And much, much more.  (Click on "Read More" to read the full review).

Not much in the vag hole this week.

Saynonara Umihara Kawase + (Goodbye Umihara Kawase: Plus Edition*) is a game that has you playing as a female young adult, Umihara Kawase. Umihara is on a weird and wonderful journey across weird levels full of unorthodox platforms, death pits, spike pits, and giant walking fish that want to eat her.  All that Umihara has to defend herself in this world is her trusty fishing rod and rubber fishing line.  Umihara must figure out the best way to cast her reel so she can grip onto the platforms and swing along with her fishing line and find the doors that will lead her to her home.  All of these skills are necessary for if you want to break free, so be careful how you use them.  (Click on "Read More" to read the full review).

Download the mouthsounds wad here.

I GET A GAME.

More Videos of Aquired Games...

God damn.

mo money pls

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Holy shit. Never thought I'd get to say anything about Shenmue III.